Cullen Christmas Time
by WolfOwl13
Summary: Cullen Christmas Time. Rated T, just to be safe. Right now it would be a K-K
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, get it! Okay =P **

Cullen Christmas Time

The bright snow blinded my eyes as I walked through the snow to my truck. Edward was being a jerk, kept asking me what I wanted for Christmas. In reality, the only thing I want is to become a vampire, okay the new Xbox 360 game looked cool, but if I told him that, he would buy me thousands of other things.

"Come on Bella, just one clue? A hint? Anything?" and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Sorry Edward, but I really do not want anything for Christmas. I do not need anything either."

Yeah, with my luck, he climbed into the other side of my truck and I tried to start it. It would not start and I groaned.

"So you do not need anything?" he said smiling my favorite crooked smile, "How about a nice Audi?" I glared at him.

"If," I said in my most menacing voice, "You get me a car for Christmas I will destroy your piano by taking a sledge hammer to it."

"You would not," replied Edward smiling at me, "You're too forgiving to do that".

Okay, Edward had me there but I did not let on.

"Don't tempt me," I growled as the tried to start my truck again with no luck. Edward smiled triumphantly.

"Well, as I guess we are going to be here for a while I should tell you about the Christmas party you are attending".

"WHAT!" I yelled and accidentally kicked something near the pedals. Miraculously, this caused the truck to start. I did not notice though, I was too busy glaring at Edward.

"Bella, calm down," he said laughing, "It is just a small party with my family and I."

I continued to glare, while thinking of ways to get out of it. Then I heard the sound of my truck's door open, and saw Alice standing there, her hands on her hips.

"There is NO WAY Bella I am letting you break your leg to end up in the hospital the day of the party! So change your mind right now!"

I sighed, forgot about Alice. Edward however was looking at me with great concern in his eyes.

"Break your leg…" he choked out, and I laughed evilly.

"MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"BELLA!" screamed Alice, and I looked at her. All right, the pixie terrifies me. That is the only reason why I let her play dress up with me.

"Okay Alice," I grumbled, "I will go to the party".

"YAY!" she proclaimed and danced around in the snow.

"Break your leg…" Edward said again, and I rolled my eyes. I then sighed and let the misery come over me as I imagined the party I would have to attend.


	2. Chapter 2

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"Bella pay attention!" yelled Alice, interrupting my thoughts. I glared angrily at her. Wow, I was glaring a lot lately.

"Sorry," I mumbled, and went back to trying to pay attention to what she was saying.

"Okay, so as I was saying. Our Christmas party is different than a traditional one".

"I know," I replied, "You don't have a turkey or ham". Alice giggled at this.

"No seriously Bella, we do not give each other meaningful gifts, because we practically have everything!" This was good news for me, Christmas was two days away and I had not gotten Edward a present. He owned everything; it was so hard to think of something to give him.

"Instead we give joke presents, something that makes fun of the person, or in this case vampire. This sometimes causes HUGE, like bigger than me fights!" Yeah, like that was so hard, Alice is like four feet tall with her spiky hair.

"So anyway," she continued, "You have to get a joke present for everyone! I already bought mine, and I know what Esme, Rosalie, and Carlisle are getting me, but Edward, Jasper, and surprisingly Emmett are being tricky about it, never making up their minds". At this, she crossed her arms and put on a puppy face that made me want to cry.  
"Alice, is that not part of the fun though? Not knowing what you are getting?" I asked confused.

"Not for me," she growled, "Thanks Bella. Now I am all upset. I HAVE TO GO SHOPPING!" I groaned as she looked at me and put on her puppy dogface again.

"Okay," I said, knowing it is useless to argue with Alice, "I will come."

"YAY!" and she jumped around the room, "Anyway, you have to get your joke presents," and with this she dragged me to her yellow Porsche and I climbed in beside her.

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	3. Chapter 3

It was the day of the party, and I was scared. More of what Emmett might have gotten me. Probably something inappropriate and relating to sex, the only thing I think he knows about. Edward will be nice; I just know it, because he would be to upset if I got upset. Meanwhile I had gotten ten different presents for Alice, put them in a bag and will randomly pick one out when it is my turn to give her something. That way she would have no idea what she is getting. I laughed at the awesomeness of my idea, and the awesomeness of myself. Yeah, that's right, I am awesome.

Edward soon came to pick me up; he laughed when he found out about Alice's present, and told me it will drive her crazy. I laughed evilly. Alice deserves it for making me come to this party.

We arrived at the house and I saw someone had constructed eight different snowmen, each looking like one of the Cullen's and me. I gasped when I saw Edward's snowman, it has the exact same shade of skin he has that I love! Then I stepped into the house.

"BELLA!" yelled Emmett picking me up and swinging me around. This big bear was crushing me, until I heard Edward growling. I love it when Edward growls.

Emmett let me down and I continued to follow Edward into the living room. (Hehehe, living room, and the house is full of dead people!) Then I saw it!

A tree bigger than I could possibly imagine stood in the corner of the room, with lights, ornaments, and candy canes, with the only thought coming to mind being Alice. Underneath the tree was a huge pile of presents. I noticed a lot of them had my name on them. I thought Alice told me they only gave joke presents!

"Relax Bella," said Jasper entering the room, "You are going to be okay. I mean come on! You are only spending Christmas with a bunch of vampires." I laughed when I thought of that, and then groaned when Alice entered the room with another present for me.

"Bella!" she said, and gave me a huge hug.

"Hi Alice," I said and smiled at her, and then Rosalie entered the room.

The blonde witch of doom snarled at me and then at Edward. I cowered even though I was more scared of Esme then I was of Rosalie. Her expression changed however, when Emmett entered the room. It then went away and was replaced with a smile. I guessed Emmett told her to be nice to me.

"Present Time!" screamed Alice, and she bounced up and down on the white leather sofa in the living room. "Me first, me first, me first," she cried until Carlisle told her to shush.

"Bella is our guest Alice, she should go first," and Alice frowned.

"No, seriously, Alice can go first. I want to see this before I participate!" I said, and Alice smiled again.

"You're the best Bella!" and she leapt down from the sofa and grabbed her first present.


	4. Alice

Alice sprang from the sofa and grabbed her first present. "To Alice lots of hate, Emmett" it read. "Ah, Emmett, that is so sweet!" she growled and tore open the wrapping paper. Inside was her favorite dress ripped to shreds. "EMMETT CULLEN! HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME! HOW DARE YOU!" roared Emmett, and I laughed as she lunged towards Emmett's throat, murder in her eyes. Edward managed to grab her before she could kill Emmett. She got herself out of Edward's grasp, went, and sobbed in Jasper's arms as Emmett laughed. Everyone looked at Emmett. It was not funny, just mean. She continued to cry until Jasper said softly, "Alice you have other presents to open up," and then she looked up brightly. "Oh right!" and she leapt down from the sofa, and grabbed the next present.

The label said from Esme and she tore off the paper. Inside was a book was a book of coupons, and everyone laughed. Alice hated to use coupons, they made her seem poor she would complain. In addition, the coupons were for store she never went to, like K-Mart. However, she would have to use them. Any gifts that can be used, had to be used, part of the rules of the game. Her small face glared at Esme who smiled angelically at her daughter, and she grabbed the next present.

This one was from Rosalie. She opened it and groaned aloud. It was a orange tie-dye tee-shirt with brown spots on it, and four sizes to large for Alice.

"Rosalie, how could you do this to me?" she grumbled as she put the shirt on. It looked ridiculous on her. Then she saw another present in the bottom of the bag. A mustard yellow and sickly pea green colored hat. She put that on her head and sighed. Everyone laughed.

"My present next," said Carlisle, handing her his present. "I think you might need it".

Alice winked at me; she already knew what it was. She unwrapped a gypsy costume and a fortune-telling tent. Laughing she quickly set it up in the living room, and removed Rosalie's present and replaced it with Carlisle.

"How do I look?" she asked Jasper who rolled his eyes.

"Beautiful as always," he said and she kissed him.

"Okay, okay, come on Alice, the rest of us want to open our presents as well," said Emmett and she stuck her tongue out at him, and then reached for Jaspers present. It was a ventriloquist doll. Alice screamed at the doll and through it across the room. I looked at Edward confused, and he mumbled to me, "Alice is terrified of ventriloquist dolls," and I laughed at her expression as she cowered behind Esme.

"How could you do this to me Jasper? I thought you loved me!" and she picked the doll up and threw it into the fireplace. Everyone laughed at Alice, and then she grabbed Edward's present.

It was a picture frame, but Alice was too shocked to show us the picture, and then she turned to Edward, fire dancing in her eyes.

"You destroyed my Porsche," she said softly, more terrifying than if she would have screamed. "I will DESTROY YOU!" and she attacked Edward. "I DO NOT KNOW HOW YOU GOT PAST MY VISIONS BUT YOU WILL DIE EDDIE!" and she grabbed him by the neck. Carlisle pulled her off, and handed her to Emmett who held her, until she calmed down. She refused to speak to Edward as she looked for my present.

Reaching into my bag I randomly pulled out a present, and handed it to her. Her eyes widened as she saw the future and she looked at me.

"Bella, I did not believe you were this mean!" and she unwrapped a basket full of chocolate.

"Edward told me you liked chocolate when you were human, so I thought you might enjoy some now," and her eyes were like slits.

"You have to eat it," said Rosalie, laughing, "It's the rule". Alice gulped and then pulled one of the twelve king size chocolate bars, and took a bite. Her face took on a look of repulsion and she gagged.  
"This is nasty," and she grabbed the rest of the chocolate and ate it, making faces the whole time. Everyone laughed at her as she ran out the room to get rid of the chocolate, with a warning that I would pay. Emmett patted me on the back saying something about how he knew I could be a good prankster. I have to admit, I felt a little bad.


	5. Chapter 5

**HELP NEEDED!**

Hi, I'm sorry this isn't a chapter, but I really need ideas for presents for everyone but Alice. Thanks for any ideas, but I am kind of brain dead. Make sure they are within the T rating level. Thanks.


	6. Jasper

**Thanks for the ideas, but I really did not get too many great ideas. Keep sending them though!**

"I want Jasper to go next!" screamed Alice jumping up and down like a little kid.

"Fine Alice, just calm down," said Jasper picking up his first gift. I noticed it was mine, and I gulped, wondering how he would take it. Jasper slowly unwrapped the present, and then looked at me stunned.

It was a book entitled _How to resist Temptations in your Diet! _by Louis Roderick. _A step-by-step guide to resisting foods that you find most tempting_. Emmett burst out laughing while Jasper kept staring at me. Then he got up and stormed out of the room. I instantly felt guilty. I did not know he still blamed himself so much for the birthday party incident.

"Don't feel bad Bella, if Jasper wasn't so moody he would have found it funny. It was a good gag gift," Edward told me and I slapped him.

"DARN YOU EDWARD CULLEN!" I yelled and started punching him all over, forgetting about the pain that was shooting up my arms.

"BELLA!" he yelled as I jumped up and down on him, while screaming, "I'M A BIG KID NOW!" repetitively.  
"JASPER HALE YOU WILL STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!" screamed Alice joining in the commotion. Edward managed to grab me, as I struggled against his ironclad grip.

"I'M A BIG KID NOW! I'M A BIG KID NOW!" I yelled repeatedly, until Esme ran out the room and grabbed Jasper. She picked him up and threw him out the window of the house, watching it smash. Instantly I felt better as he went out the window, his concentration on controlling my emotions distracted for a moment. As he walked back into the house, Esme stood there scowling at him. "JASPER! YOU WILL STOP THIS RIGHT NOW! YOU WILL BUY ME A NEW WINDOW! YOU WILL SIT DOWN AND OPEN THE REST OF YOUR PRESENTS AND YOU WILL ENJOY YOURSELF!"

Jasper sat down and Alice threw him an evil glare. "No Jasper and Alice time tonight!" she growled, "You made Bella upset!" and with that, she threw another present at him, hers.

He tore open the wrapping paper aggressively, and saw another book entitled _How to Get Over Depression and See the Sunshine in the World again_.

"I thought you might need it!" she growled, "And obviously I was right!"

Jasper threw the book onto the ground and grabbed another present, wanting to get this over as fast as he could. It was from Emmett.  
"A mood ring!" he said laughing, "I thought you could use it! Plus it would let us all know how you are feeling right now!" Jasper put the ring on his finger. It turned a dull blue color. "You are feeling Joyful," said Alice reading the little card that came with the mood ring. "Me thinks its broken Em," she said, and he shrugged.

Jasper grabbed the next present from Esme and opened it. It was a hideous looking necklace with a huge jasper stone in the center. "Thought it would go with your eyes dear," and he scowled at her as he put it on. Next, he grabbed Carlisle's present and used his teeth to rip open the wrapping paper. "Tickets for a therapist," he said, and Jasper growled. Man, everyone was really getting him angry!

Then he grabbed the present from Edward and opened it. It was another book about getting over depression.

"Just you wait!" said Jasper, "Just you wait!"


End file.
